Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
by pusa.is.me
Summary: LAST CHAPTER UP! An eight-part series of one shots featuring our favorite mild-mannered brunette and resident Second Place. Enjoy.
1. Promises Made to be Broken

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_We made plans  
To be unbreakable  
Love was all we knew  
No insurance for  
The unthinkable  
Blindly get us through_

"Promise?"

The quiver in her voice was just the right amount of urging he needed to utter the much needed answer. He knew there was a chance that he won't be able to keep it, because as the old cliché goes, _promises are made to be broken. _And although he never wanted to see her sad ever again – _she already suffered too much from his best friend – _his greatest fear was that he wouldn't be man enough to stay true to the pledge he would give her.

"Of course."

But still he gave his word. Together with a silent vow that he will always be strong for her, for both of them. Especially during those times she would cry as though she would self-destruct, as if the whole world around her would crumble, as if all the stars in the night sky would betray them and choose to shine no more.

"I love you."

And although he knew she wouldn't, _couldn't, _answer back – _her heart belonged to that cold, cold Ice Prince still – _he'd keep telling her such, until hopefully one day she'd learn to forget those indifferent blue eyes that shattered her heart into a million pieces.

"Thank you."

Her answer wasn't enough, but he'd wait nevertheless. Wait for her to stop hurting, to stop hoping, to stop blindly loving that idiot of a brunette who was void of emotions.

"You deserve a happy ending, Aya. And I swear I will give it to you."

And she buried her face in his chest, letting him hold her close, as if he was the one she loved, and not a mere alternative for the boy who could never be hers. He knew her heart was breaking, and as much as he hated it, his heart was starting to break as well.


	2. Tears of Bittermelon and Tamarind

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_We've been searching for a lifetime  
short as it may seem.  
Riding on the fumes that spark us,  
while igniting dreams._

She dreams of flying.

Spread out her wings, throw every caution to the wind. No worries to haunt her – no disappointed looks from her parents, no (un)approving glances from her peers, no cold glares _from him, though in all honestly she'd want him to look at her like that than not have him notice her at all – _no expectations to meet, no goals to reach. Just float in space, the cold air stopping her eye ducts from producing those tears carrying the taste of bittermelon and tamarind.

On and on she flew, flies, will fly – until she finds what it is that she's searching for – some great unknown that is buried under her subconscious, crying out, _free me, free me! _She feels something burning inside of her, something malignant, something alien, _a mixture of yellow hair and brown eyes, _yet she embraces it and takes it up as her own, accepts it for what it is, for what it can offer, though it can never be enough, _he can never be enough…he's not Rei, Aya… stop fooling yourself…_

And when she opens her eyes, lifts herself from her dream, the same pair of brown eyes looks at her lovingly, his sad orbs telling her that _I know, I know, you don't have to explain yourself. I know._

And tears of bittermelon and tamarind gush out, but he kisses them away, and she wonders, _can I, should I love him?_

And she goes back dreaming again.

* * *

_Uh. I was supposed to delete this story since apparently it wasn't interesting enough. _

_But._

_A special thank you to __**prilly55**. Your review might be short, but it was just what I needed to continue with this story. I promise not to delete this anymore. _

_- kyd_


	3. Mistake Number 5

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_Mistakes we knew we were making.  
Mistakes we knew we were making.  
Don't think about chances we're taking,  
Mistakes we knew..._

**Mistake # 1:**

… that she broke up with Rei, on the account that he confessed being in love with one of her best friends even during the time they were going out as more than friends. She thought it would be best if she stayed away, because truth be told she could never bear the idea of him _betraying_ her in that way, although he did give her a disclaimer before that he might hurt her without even knowing that he already did.

She thought she could handle anything he'd throw at her. She was dead wrong.

**Mistake # 2:**

… that she slowly but steadily avoided her group, not being able to bear the sight of Otohata being the least attentive to Ran, because although she never told Kotobuki of Rei's confession, deep in her heart she knew Ran _knew, _and was just too stubborn to accept it.

Unless she was faking. Which makes her a terrible friend. The more reason for her to stay away.

**Mistake # 3:**

… that he broke up with Mami to be with _her. _He saw it in her eyes, the way her eyes lacked luster when she thought no one was looking, the way she bit her lower lip whenever Ran talked to his best friend.

_Damn idiot, _he cursed Rei bitterly.

And when Aya started not showing up for their weekend get-togethers, he felt that they were losing her little by little. And he realized losing her hurt more than losing the entire group, Mami included.

So he broke Mami's heart, left the group, and went after the girl whom he knew could never be his.

**Mistake # 4:**

… that she accepted _him _when he offered to stay by her side no matter what. He was Rei's best friend, for Pete's sake! Was she that desperate to let Rei know that she could live without him? Did her friendship with Mami mean so little that she was willing to destroy it just to have someone – some guy she wasn't in love with – stay with her because of her pitiful existence?

Did Yuuya deserve her?

**Mistake #5:**

… that she refused to take Rei back when he asked, refused to let Mami take Yuuya back, refused to return to the group even when Miyu cried, Tatsuki and Yamato pleaded, Ran cursed?

She was destroying their group, Ran said. _They _were. These were people who loved them both. How could they hurt them intentionally?

_How could you? _she answered the gal back bitterly, in her head.

She walked away, uncaring, grasping Yuuya's hand tightly, not turning back. Ran and the others stood motionless, felt themselves fading in the background.

_Their group will never be made whole again._

* * *

_For **angelrei06**. Because you never gave up reminding me to update. And yes, I will write _that_ story for you. _

_- kyd_


	4. She Needs Him Too

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making **

_Driving in the rain to the hospital  
Quiet aches intense  
What at once just seemed the impossible  
Now makes perfect sense _

Next thing they knew, they were running up the hospital steps, choosing them over the packed elevator. Neither of them wanted to talk to the other; they were carrying burdens already too heavy too bear. Words would only make them suffer all the more.

Aya gingerly wiped the tears forming in her eyes; hell if she'd show Yuuya that she was crying. It was all her damned fault anyway. She deserved every bit of guilt that came her way. What was her right to mess with fate? Wasn't it predetermined before time who should end up with whom? Why did she think that she could get away with her foolishness and keep the guy she needed (which may or may not be different from the guy she wanted, but she did not want to think about that right now)?

Room 409. That was the number Miyu gave her over the phone. She quickly pushed past Yuuya, almost knocking the poor guy over. She had to see it for herself. Even if it would cause her an eternity of sleepless nights twice over.

She saw _her _lying on the bed, eyes closed, hands folded on her stomach. Her heart did a double-flip and the first thing that crossed her mind was that _she's dead and we're too late and why oh why did we ever do that, Mami please oh please wake up Mami… _

"… please wake up…"

And she turned, realizing that her thoughts had commingled with Yuuya's, and that he was already on his knees, clutching Mami's hands, pressing his forehead against her palms, shedding hot tears for the girl whose heart he broke.

And her heart constricted as well, but for a different reason entirely.

_(Who knew Hoshino could be so selfless and selfish at the same time?)_

* * *

_Woot. I'm back. Uhm. I was supposed to add another part in this chapter, but it would ruin my plan for the next, so scrap that. Maybe I can do that scene in the chapter next to the one I had already formed in my mind. But anyway._

_Thank you so much for all those who took the time to review this eccentric piece. It's really hard to come up with a YuuyaxAya story that will not appear forced or cliche. So thank you for your patience and for staying with me. Til next then!_

_- kyd_


	5. Ghosts of the Past

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_We held hands to face the uncomfortable  
Cold and lonely room  
Magazines and empty distractions  
Barely got us through_

"Aya."

She looked up, and blue orbs clashed with copper ones inside the huge waiting area of the hospital Mami was confined in. Her cream skirt barely protected her skin from the metallic cold that was the bench she was sitting on, and Rei's stare did not help alleviate her feeling of numbness.

"Otohata."

She watched as he frowned just the tiniest bit. When was the last time they spoke to each other? Two months, three months ago? She couldn't even remember. She and Yuuya had completely avoided the group ever since the confrontation that finally drove Mami to drink a bottle of sleeping pills one cold, lonely night.

"Stop calling me by my last name."

She bit her tongue to stop herself from cursing him. Who did he think he is, ordering her around like that? Didn't she already end their relationship so he could go after the girl he truly loved? How dare he!

"I can call you anything I want."

She knew Rei was shocked, even when he didn't show any indication of it. _What, you think I'll cringe and cry like the stupid old Aya who was head over heels in love with you? Don't get too full of yourself, Otohata._

"Just what are you trying to prove here, Aya?" he asked coldly. "Why are you hurting yourself?"

She shook her head. "Believe me, Otohata. I've never been happier in my life."

"Oh?" He was about to say something else when a familiar voice spoke from behind.

"Is he bothering you, Aya?"

The once timid brunette watched as Yuuya took a step forward, effectively going between her and her ex-boyfriend. She held his arm, as if emphasizing their relationship. Slap in the face, that was how Aya wanted it to be for the cold-hearted prince who once broke her heart.

"Not much," she answered, her eyes still locked with Rei's. It was a battle of willpower, and Aya was determined not to lose this time.

It was Rei's turn to shake his head. Chuckling bitterly, he turned around and left.

Aya exhaled as Yuuya sat down beside her. "Thanks," she whispered, and gripped Yuuya's arm tighter. "How is she?"

Yuuya looked glum.

"Yuuya?"

Turning to him, she watched as Yuuya sighed and shut his eyes. _Oh Kami, please, no._

"Aya…"

She predicted what he was about to say even before he spoke the words. Shaking her head, she let go of his arm and stood up. "Don't," she whispered, tears brimming her eyes. "Please, Yuuya, don't."

Yuuya stood up and tried to reach for her, but she conveniently took a step back.

"No," she whispered again, more firmly this time. "I can't." Tears were flowing down her pale cheeks. "Not you. Anyone but you."

And before Yuuya could respond, she turned and ran away.

* * *

_Yes. I'm back. I know, I know. I think I'm ready to update my stories in this fandom, finally. I've been obsessed with Battle Royale for a while _(please read my stories for that fandom too!)_, but meh, I still love Aya and Yuuya (and Rei) so, yeah. I hope there are still readers of this. Uhm, I'll try to update _**Fairy Tales and Castles** _as soon as I can. In the meantime, reviews please? Thanks!_

_- kyd_


	6. Here Comes the Bride, Well, Almost

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_And when we try to think of the life inside,  
We found ourselves looking at the world through new eyes._

Six months have passed.

Aya stared blankly at the beautiful diamond ring around her right ring finger. She knew she should be happy; hell, everyone else around her was happy. But try as she might, she couldn't feel any happiness that an engagement ring should normally bring to any other girl.

Beside her, Rei was talking to the wedding coordinator, and they were finalizing the most minute details for the wedding the following week. Aya had not said a single word since the start of the meeting. She just stared blankly on, scrutinizing her right hand and the additional weight on one of her fingers.

Why did the ring felt so confining? Hadn't it always been her dream to be married to her one true love?

Finally, she turned and looked at her husband-to-be, the still-stoic Rei Otohata, the guy who proposed to her one stormy night three months ago, right in front of everyone, newly-together-again couple Mami Honda and Yuuya Asou included.

She had automatically answered yes, all the while looking not into Rei's beautiful blue orbs, but in Yuuya's sad brown ones. Tears welled down her copper eyes, and Ran chuckled and teased her about being a crybaby. But the tears Aya shed were not tears of joy, no. They were tears of remorse, of a sense of helplessness, of a grief so overwhelming she wasn't able to resist when Rei started placing the ring around her finger. The rest of her friends (minus one melancholic blonde guy) cheered, and all Aya could think about was, _Kami, no,no, no. _

The Rei in front of her now smiled, a small smile that was meant to reassure her. It had the opposite effect. Aya suddenly felt the need to get away from the place, to run away and never come back, never see any of her friends ever again. But before she could even move a muscle, Rei suddenly took her hand and enclosed it with his own.

"You okay?"

Aya's sight blurred at the gush of new tears. Why was it that only when she no longer felt anything for him that Rei chose to be the wonderful, loving boyfriend that he was now?

"Y-yeah," she answered as she wiped the fresh tears away. "Just... just happy."

Rei smiled sadly, and Aya suddenly realized that he had known all along – Rei knew that she no longer loved him, that she was in fact, _finally, _in love with his best friend.

_So why marry me still?_

Rei nodded and squeezed Aya's hand, as if telling her that he would not let her go, not anymore.

Aya's heart only broke a couple thousands more.

_

* * *

And I'm back, again. I know I promised _**angelrei06 **_an update of **Fairy Tales and Castles**, but I'm having a hard time writing the next chapter (the fact that I'm still obsessing over Battle Royale might have something to do with it). And to think that the idea for next chapter almost solely came from her. I'm sorry!_

_But, as for this story, it is now coming to an end. This is the sixth chapter, meaning that it will only have two more. Will it be a happy ending? And if it is, for whom? Will people still read this? Will they still review? Do they still know who I am? All these questions, and I don't have a decent answer to any of them. Still, I would appreciate comments and feedback, hell, even a holler to let me know I'm not forgotten would be nice._

_- kyd_


	7. Country Rock

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

_What can now be said?  
Oh, little one on the other side.  
Dance until the band stops playing,  
Sing with all your might._

The day of the wedding drew nearer, and still, _still_, he could not bring himself to _not _think about _her. _

_Aya._

Loud rock music blared from the speakers of his component, the kind of music that his best friend would normally listen to. He wasn't really fond of music, no, but that night, _that cold, lonely night, _he figured that only music would soothe his pain, his longing for the girl who would _never _be his.

_Never._

But _never _is such an _infinite_ word. What was that line he read before? _Never say never, for you can never be sure of never, and that is the only thing you can be sure of. _Should he choose to believe that, he could still hope, hope for a happy ending that will _never _come.

_Damn it._

What was he doing, really? Wasn't it his choice to stick with Mami to make sure she doesn't try to kill herself again? Wasn't it he who convinced Rei to pursue Aya once again, just so the beautiful girl could finally have the happy ending she had always wanted? Wasn't it he who chose to sacrifice what little he shared with her just so their group would be complete again?

So why was he feeling so down?

He heard banging on his door, and then cursing from his neighbors, yelling at him to keep the volume of his stereo down. In a rare manner of indifference, Yuuya merely flipped a finger at the door's direction before increasing the volume of his component.

_To hell with you all, _he thought tiredly, flopping down his couch and drowning the sounds with a throw pillow.

_I found the perfect girl... and I let her slip away. Now she's _never _coming back. _Never_. _

_

* * *

_

_One last chapter! Someone said the last chapter was too depressing. I think this chapter is even worse. Gah. And I thought I'm done writing angst and all that drama! Anywoot. Reviews are much appreciated, as always._

_A happy new year to everyone!_

_- kyd_


	8. Dewey Denouement

**Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

The list goes on and on.  
The list goes on and on.  
The list goes on and on...

The day of the wedding, Rei Otohata found a small note on top of Aya Hoshino's abandoned wedding gown. It read:

_Dear Rei,_

_I can't do it. I hope that someday, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me, even when we both know that I don't deserve it. _

_Aya_

_***_

At around the same time, Mami Honda received a two-word text on her phone. It said:

_I'm sorry._

The sender was none other than Yuuya Asou, whom she already lost once to a blue-haired brunette whom she considered a dear friend.

_***_

Three months later, Miyu Yamazaki received a lengthy letter from a long-lost friend. It said:

_Dear Miyu,_

_I'm sorry it took me so long to find the courage to write to you. And I'm sorry I have to drag you into this mess that I made for myself. But I'm scared to send this message to Rei directly, and I doubt if Ran will bother reading anything coming from me, not since I betrayed all of you._

_Please tell everyone, if anyone would care to know, that I, we, are doing okay, somehow. And please tell them I'm sorry for disappearing without so much as a word. And tell Mami... tell Mami that I know that no apology would ever be enough, but that we're both very sorry for breaking her heart again. We do not expect forgiveness for what we've done. We just would like to let all of you know that not a single day goes by without us not thinking about you guys, or the mistakes we've made that most likely permanently ostracized us from the group._

_It's hard, Miyu. Yuuya and I are trying so hard to stay together, but it's hard when the weight of our sins are dragging us lower and lower to the ground with each passing day. I guess this is punishment enough._

_Trying to survive,_

_Aya_

The envelope gave no return address.

***

A year after, Yuuya read an entry in the newspaper's obituary that forced him and Aya to return to Shibuya. It read:

_Mami Honda_

_1988-2010_

_Loving daughter, dear friend._

They would find out later that Mami finally succeeded in what she had failed to do almost two years ago.

***

Aya received a hard slap on the cheek from a grieving Ran Kotobuki, who Miyu desperately tried to hold back, and Yuuya a punch on the face from an enraged Rei, who was being held back by an equally distraught Tatsuki Kuroi and Yamato Kotobuki.

Both Aya and Yuuya bowed low at the group, who were standing in front of Mami's grave, tears streaming down their faces. Both knew they could never undo what they've done, and that they could never bring Mami back, not for all the tears in the world. Still, they bowed as low as they could, and regretted as much as they should, and asked for forgiveness they knew they did not deserve.

Finally, Aya felt arms wrap around her, and she blinked back the tears when she realized that both Ran and Miyu were hugging her tightly, both aching for their best friend who left without a word so many months ago. Yuuya looked up and locked eyes with Rei, who glared at him coldly, but Yuuya knew that it was the same kind of glare Rei used to give him after he had done something royally stupid, a glare which says that he was an idiot, but that he was still his friend nonetheless. Tatsuki and Yamato placed comforting hands on his shoulders, and it was all Yuuya could do to stop himself from weeping bitterly.

Aya then turned to Rei, bowing low and not meeting his eyes, but before she could say another word, she felt Rei take her in his arms for what they both knew would be the last time, and as Aya returned the embrace, she couldn't help but cry at all the pain both of them suffered because of each other.

No words were spoken that cloudy afternoon, but everyone in the group knew everyone was forgiven, and that although they could never save the group Ran tried her very bestest to save years ago or undo the mistakes they've done, they would, in one way or another, remain friends forever.

**END**

_

* * *

It's finished! After so many sad chapters, I finally finished this story! I know it's depressing, but I think it ended pretty well. Don't you think so? Uhh, guys? Where are you going? Don't leave me! It was the best I could do! Guuuuuuys!!!_

_*mutters something about making _Fairy Tales and Castles _less depressing and more comic, just to make up for this and _Without Me'_s endings*_


End file.
